I’ll never forget when my son Matt stopped me in our kitchen and asked, “Mom, when are we having family dinner night again; we haven’t had one in a while?” He and his twenty-months younger brother played basketball on their local high school team, but one attended a Christian school and the other a public school. With their busy athletic schedules, my son was right. The funny thing is that my husband and I didn’t call it “family dinner night,” but that is how Matt had understood one of our family values—together time around the table.
I trace back the genesis of our family nights to a sticky note exercise I borrowed from our youngest son’s preschool teacher. After the short drive from the preschool to our home, I would ask my sons to share one or two bits of news—sound bites—from their day. I wrote each news bit they shared on a brightly-colored sticky note, and together we stuck them onto a photo album page. At the table during dinner, I’d pull out the album and read the kids’ daily news aloud to their daddy. [For inquiring minds, this sticky note exercise helps kids understand that written words can be read and reread.] Daddy and mommy also shared a bit of news about their day. And most evenings, laughter and grins abounded.
As our sons grew older, we incorporated interactive exercises into our evening table time. For a season, a homemade “Manners Jar” sat in the center of our butcher block kitchen table. Each of us agreed to pay the penalty of a quarter into the manners jar for each violation of good table manners. I got dinged more than once for putting my elbows on the table. For a few evenings, I described an etiquette-related dilemma, and we discussed possible ways to handle each situation. The etiquette questions were not popular, but they stimulated lively discussions. We also prompted one another to share something we were thankful for to foster gratitude.
Our table time reveals family members valuing one another’s words and lived experiences; light and deep sharing; holding one another accountable; prompting critical thinking; and frequent laughter together, and sometimes at one another.
For my single and widowed friends, fellowship around a table may look like gathering roommates, friends, and neighbors together for a community-family dinner. A worthy endeavor, indeed.
Throughout the Scripture’s pages, you will find family language—stories about brothers and sisters. And it’s hard to miss the many admonitions to love, serve, and honor one another. Family dinner nights and community-family dinner nights can reflect shared values. It looks like healthy, vibrant people, families, and community members spending time listening to one another—listening to each other’s feelings, needs, thoughts, and dreams—showing that we value one another.
Since early January 2023, I’ve been posting on my social media accounts a series titled “Bible Women’s Words.” My teaching aim is to highlight that God deeply valued women’s words, and so should we. God values women’s words so much that he ensured his Holy Scriptures included women’s words and their witness. It’s my observation that we’ve either silenced the voices of Bible women, or at the very least, we’ve neglected to tell their stories.
A case in point is the prophet Huldah. Her story is recorded in 2 Kings and 2 Chronicles. Recently, I informally surveyed a slew of my seasoned Christian friends, male and female, to ask them if they knew of Huldah in the Bible. No one could tell me who Huldah was, but each knew of King Josiah. What?! Huldah and King Josiah are in the same Bible story! In brief, King Josiah sent an entourage of male leaders to the prophet Huldah, a contemporary of the prophets Zechariah, Jeremiah, and Habakkuk. The King trusted her to validate a newly-discovered temple scroll and to give him God’s instructions for the nation. In so doing, Huldah “helped renew the spiritual life of Judah, for Josiah instituted immediate reforms.”[1]
May I suggest you read, and perhaps highlight at your family dinner nights, the words and stories of Bible women? Let us each do our part to amplify all the voices found in the Book of Truth.
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[1] Lindsay Hardin Freeman, Bible Words, (ForwardMovement.org, 2015), 266.
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