UNDERSTANDING 3 INTENSE RELATIONSHIPS TO EMPOWER YOUR LIFE

Deep down, I believe, each of us desires an empowered life…and certain types of intense relationships enhance and empower. Men and women, from the social butterfly to the bookworm, are uniquely wired to thrive as relational beings. Babies can suffer the failure-to-thrive syndrome if their parent(s) deprive them of emotional care and support. The elderly, too, need connection to other humans to remain emotionally healthy. No matter our age, people need people. And, just as important, people need people who will willingly invest in them. And, this kind of intentional investment has power.

Three particular kinds of intense relationships, through a relational process, facilitate unparalleled empowerment for daily living. The three intensely personal relationships that can empower your life are a Discipler-Mentor, a Spiritual Guide, and a Coach. Let me share with you how each relationship is unique by sharing a bit of my personal experience.

Discipler-Mentor Empowerment

In my 20’s, Paula, my pastor’s wife, a dynamic and gifted Bible teacher, invested in me by inviting me to study a book with her called, Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God (Bible Study) by Henry Blackaby. Paula served as my discipler-mentor. God worked through her discipleship, and the Blackaby study, to change and forever impact my life. A good discipler-mentor teaches the basics of living the Christian life—a life defined by one who chooses to live believing in the one true God through grace by faith.

For the first time, through Paula’s mentoring, I began to understand that the Lord desires to reveal his will. I can look back to see how God had worked, but I can also actively seek to know God’s direction—through reading the Bible, through prayer, from the Holy Spirit within me, from my circumstances, and through the Church. By dialing God’s “phone number,” Jeremiah 33:3, you and I have his promise, “Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you did not know.”

Spiritual Guide Empowerment

Throughout my life, I benefitted from spiritual guides. For the past two years, Dr. Joye, a Dallas Theological Seminary (DTS) professor, has served as my spiritual guide. A good spiritual guide—a godly, mature Christ-follower— shares knowledge, life values, and experience to facilitate growth in spiritual wisdom and maturity.

Dr. Joye and I met together, approximately two times a month over a two-year period. She provided wisdom for my leadership of women students through the DTS Spiritual Formation coursework and a deeper understanding of the intersection life with faith. She guided me in decision-making and enriched my understanding of spiritual life through her insights, wisdom and life experience. Dr. Joye’s guidance helped me grow in faith and leadership.

Coaching Empowerment

A little over three years ago, a series of unconscionable circumstances led me to resign from a church staff leadership position. Like a glass pitcher slammed by a hammer, the proverbial \”last straw\” circumstance caused my heart to shatter. A number of people in my life helped me put the pieces back together. One particular woman entered into my pain in a unique role. Kathy served as my coach.

A good coach assists her client to establish a clear objective—facilitating life transitions, overcoming obstacles, building skills, improving leadership, developing better communication in relationships, and/or setting and reaching goals. A good coach is an excellent listener, understands the need for life values to influence actions, asks key, open-ended questions, and helps her client envision reaching her objective(s).

Kathy invested in and empowered me to deal with the relational hurt I experienced and needed to overcome. She helped me grow through accountability in the discipline of forgiveness. And she lovingly pressed me to practically apply what I learned. She coached me until I met the challenge of forgiving the wounds and those who had wounded me. Her coaching helped me to find freedom through forgiveness, yielding diamond-hard strength and life-giving empowerment.

Resources

To learn more on investing in others, I recommend these resources, Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life; Christian Coaching; and Launching Multipliers, discipleship material found at www.ministrycatalysts.com. On the topic of forgiveness, I recommend Forgiving Forward, a book that positively impacted my life.

Who are the people in your life committed to your enriched growth and development? What intense relationships do you need to seek to enable your empowerment for life? I\’m interested to hear your thoughts.